A Thanksgiving to Remember

Happy Thanksgiving,

How wonderful it is to pause and reflect on all the rich blessings the Lord has bestowed upon us this past year. Once again we spent Thanksgiving at Roger and Becky Tirabassi's house. We played a little tennis before the meal and then sat down to an outstanding dinner. Allison and Fran made several delicious desserts and by the end of the night, we were so full that we practically needed to be carried to our van.

Today we spent the afternoon hiking in Laguna, taking in the sites of "Top of the World". It's great to be on vacation, a great time to be together and enjoy one another. Tomorrow, weather permitting, we're going to take our Christmas pictures. Wish us luck!

Father to Son

The day had finally arrived. After months of careful planning, with tickets in hand, Allison and I boarded the cruise ship. For the next seven days, we'd be out at sea, visiting five islands in the western Caribbean. The trip came at the perfect time. Boy did we need a vacation. It was August of 2001. Allison was pregnant with our first born son Austin. This time away would be our last holiday before life changed forever. With Austin's birth just a couple months away, I thought quite a bit about being a new dad. I had recently read a book or two on parenting but head knowledge, albeit helpful, was no substitute for experience. I had zero reference point for raising a child. I was still trying to figure out how to be a good husband. And friends gave me all sorts of advice on fatherhood; "Talk to your wife's tummy at least once a day so your son knows the sound of your voice." "Be super available to your wife with a newborn, especially helping in the middle of the night." "Get plenty of sleep now because once your son is born, you'll never feel rested again!" I must say that these were really good tips. The best suggestion I received however was from my friend Matt. He and his wife Mary were expecting their first child as well. He told me that he was going to start a journal for his son, secretively capturing life as a father. It was also a space for reflecting on shared experiences with his boy. He had planned to give the journal to his son when he turned 18. I loved the idea and did the same thing.

For the past 8 years I've been writing in Austin's journal (Note: I have one for his sister Kylie as well). My first entry was written on that cruise with Allison.

Entry #1
"We live our lives before the wild, dangerous, unfettered and free character of the living God." Walter Bruggeman

August 30th, 2001

Dear Son,

Congratulations on your graduation from high school. As I write these words, you are still in your mothers womb and just weeks from making your grand entrance in the world. I'm sitting right now on a Royal Caribbean in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Your mother and I are taking our final vacation before you're born. I can't wait to meet you. What do you look like? What kind of personality will you have? Will you be an easy baby or difficult one? Will you enjoy playing basketball like your old man? Will I be a good father? Truth be told, I have so many questions that I could easily fill this journal with them. There is no doubt that I'll be so proud and grateful that you are my son.

So, my desire is to fill these pages with the memories we share together as father and son. I pray that the theme played out in this journal demonstrates that love I have for you and ultimately, may my love point you to the love that God has for you.

Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart." You are my pride and joy. God has placed his hand on you and has a calling for you life. I'm eager to see his story in you unfold.

Love, Dad

Every so often I take out the journal and post an entry. Every time I do I'm reminded that these are precious days with my kids, not to be wasted. Each moment a gift from God, a time to be treasured.

Miracle of the Moment

"If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is." Unknown Author

"I have realized that the past and the future are real illusions, that they exist in the present which is what there is and all there is." Alan Watts

"One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around and find that the future has run out on us." Michael Cibenko


Yesterday and tomorrow are the two places I most often find myself. The tapes of past conversations running through my head, thinking about obligations that are to come. Meditating on the past and the future rob me of the hear and now.

This summer, my family and I purchased season passes to Wild Rivers. Just minutes from our home, this water park is a real relief from the high temperatures and dry southern California climate. Allison and I enjoy having this time together with Austin and Kylie. And the kids love this oasis, can't get enough! Today, while standing in line for the 'Congo Rapid's' ride, my daughter Kylie told me about a recent art class she participated in. She was so excited and kept talking and talking about it, making sure not to leave anything out. As she shared, my mind kept wandering to chores that needed completing when we got home. More than once I asked her to repeat herself. Finally, Kylie said, "Never mind, it's not important." That got my attention.

The fact of the matter is that there was no place I'd rather have been than with my family. What could be more important than sharing that moment with my daughter as she brought something really meaningful to me? I realize that I've mastered the art of looking someone in the eye, nodding my head and not hearing a word they've said. (an aside to the reader: I NEVER do that when I'm with you!) I spent the rest of the day breathing in every moment like it was the last.

I'm a firm believer that one of the greatest gifts we can give someone is our attention. To geniunely be with someone. To turn off the cell phone, not respond to a text and fix our eyes on the person we're with. Spencer Johnson, in his book entitled, "The Precious Present" states that, "When we live in the past, we lose ourselves and when we live in the future, we lose ourselves." His point is that the precious gift of life is found by living in the moment. Allowing ourselves to feel, to drink deeply of what is happening, now.

I don't want to miss another moment with my wife and my kids. I've missed too many already. Today I'm going to cherish them and demonstate how much they mean to me.

Soccer

Austin and Kylie at their first soccer games of the year. Austin's team is called the Tornado's and Kylie's is called the Delightful Dragonflies. Austin is captain for the day and wins the toss. Way to go Austin! Kylie takes a shot at being goaly, saves two shots on goal and has no points scored against her. A real natural!

Birthday, Soccer, Serving

The Gift of Family

"Good families-even great families- are off track 90 percent of the time! The key is that they have a sense of destination. They know what the "track" looks like. And they keep coming back to it time and time again." Stephen Covey

"Life is just what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." John Lennon from the song, "Beautiful boy"

Recently I discovered an envelope of pictures, sitting under a stack of cooking magazines. In it there were photographs from last years trip to Florida along with other random images sprinkled in. When I had finished looking at each one, I found a half empty photo album and carefully loosening each sleeve, inserted them one by one. When I'd finished, I placed the album on the book case alongside the others. It struck me that in ten years of marriage, eight of them as parent's, Allison and I had a shelf full of photo albums, every one representing hundreds of memories we've had as a family.

We do try to be intentional as a family. We have a value of eating meals together, being involved in our church, spending time with close friends and relatives, volunteering in Austin and Kylie's school (alongside our neighbors), and traveling. However, life gets so busy. I'm struck by how much energy it takes just to get the day to day responsibilites done. Buying groceries, paying the bills, doing yard work, washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms. These projects seem to dominate our week. (I imagine you can relate!)

As we update our blog, we look forward to not only giving updates on soccer games, family trips and the like. We also hope to share the unscheduled, unplanned surprises that God brings along the way. Those moments in particular tend to be some of the most memorable and precious times as a family and we don't want to miss them!

Trick or Treat

This year we spent Halloween in our community, visiting with our neighbors. Kylie enjoyed dressing up as a kitty cat and Austin dressed like his race car hero, Tony Stewart.