Father to Son

The day had finally arrived. After months of careful planning, with tickets in hand, Allison and I boarded the cruise ship. For the next seven days, we'd be out at sea, visiting five islands in the western Caribbean. The trip came at the perfect time. Boy did we need a vacation. It was August of 2001. Allison was pregnant with our first born son Austin. This time away would be our last holiday before life changed forever. With Austin's birth just a couple months away, I thought quite a bit about being a new dad. I had recently read a book or two on parenting but head knowledge, albeit helpful, was no substitute for experience. I had zero reference point for raising a child. I was still trying to figure out how to be a good husband. And friends gave me all sorts of advice on fatherhood; "Talk to your wife's tummy at least once a day so your son knows the sound of your voice." "Be super available to your wife with a newborn, especially helping in the middle of the night." "Get plenty of sleep now because once your son is born, you'll never feel rested again!" I must say that these were really good tips. The best suggestion I received however was from my friend Matt. He and his wife Mary were expecting their first child as well. He told me that he was going to start a journal for his son, secretively capturing life as a father. It was also a space for reflecting on shared experiences with his boy. He had planned to give the journal to his son when he turned 18. I loved the idea and did the same thing.

For the past 8 years I've been writing in Austin's journal (Note: I have one for his sister Kylie as well). My first entry was written on that cruise with Allison.

Entry #1
"We live our lives before the wild, dangerous, unfettered and free character of the living God." Walter Bruggeman

August 30th, 2001

Dear Son,

Congratulations on your graduation from high school. As I write these words, you are still in your mothers womb and just weeks from making your grand entrance in the world. I'm sitting right now on a Royal Caribbean in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Your mother and I are taking our final vacation before you're born. I can't wait to meet you. What do you look like? What kind of personality will you have? Will you be an easy baby or difficult one? Will you enjoy playing basketball like your old man? Will I be a good father? Truth be told, I have so many questions that I could easily fill this journal with them. There is no doubt that I'll be so proud and grateful that you are my son.

So, my desire is to fill these pages with the memories we share together as father and son. I pray that the theme played out in this journal demonstrates that love I have for you and ultimately, may my love point you to the love that God has for you.

Jeremiah 1:5 reminds us, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart." You are my pride and joy. God has placed his hand on you and has a calling for you life. I'm eager to see his story in you unfold.

Love, Dad

Every so often I take out the journal and post an entry. Every time I do I'm reminded that these are precious days with my kids, not to be wasted. Each moment a gift from God, a time to be treasured.